Facing fear, worry & anxiety. Surviving the pressure of being anxious and insecure. Advice to bring you comfort and strength to cope. Email advice available.
"I, a stranger and afraid
In a world I never made."
A E Housman
In a difficult world, fear and worry are two of our biggest problems. You are not alone. Many of us share them. Do some of these describe what you are feeling?
- the future - all the bad things that may happen to me tomorrow, next week, next year.
- evil - bad luck, curses, evil spirits.
- being alone - that no one cares or understands, and I seem far away from other people.
- illness - of sickness I have now, or may get in the future, such as cancer.
- being a failure - at work or study, in relationships, with friends - not achieving what I or others expect of myself.
- not having enough money - now, or in the future.
- losing my job.
- having to take important decisions.
- other people - not wanting to be too close to them, in case they find out what I am really like, and then don't like me.
- not finding someone to marry.
- death - that old enemy.
How to handle fear
Often we don't face up to what we fear. We try to hide it in the bottom of our minds, so that perhaps we don't even know what we are afraid of, or are worrying about. It is important to find out exactly what we are afraid of, and also try to understand how the fear started. There may be a particular time, or event, which started it off.
Then here are some ideas to help you look at the problem:
Facing up to it
Sometimes, when you face up to the problem, it doesn't seem so bad. Sometimes, the fear of something is worse than the thing itself! Perhaps tomorrow, the problem may seem less! Remember, "Today is the tomorrow that you spent your time worrying about yesterday."
Talk to someone
This always helps. Find someone you can trust, and share how you feel. In some cultures, this is more difficult than others. You will probably find they have had a similar experience, and can help you.
Look at yourself
Are you one of life's worriers? Your character or family upbringing may make you worry easily. But learn to change negative ways of thinking. There are two ways of looking at a cup of water. The negative way says, "The cup is half empty". But the positive way sees the same cup, yet says, "The cup is half full." OK, its difficult. What we actually need is a new mind, that thinks differently! But yes, this is possible! See later.
Some more common-sense ideas
- Don't worry about things at night, or in bed.
Do get good food and exercise.
Try and get out of your usual surroundings - go somewhere else.
Get involved in things which take your mind off worries. Particularly, do things that will help other people in some way.
Fears and worries will grow bigger if you don't deal with them.
Do talk to others.
If fear and worry are affecting your health, or leading to depression, see a doctor.
Are we alone?
Many of these problems result from us feeling alone in this world. We feel out of control of our lives, at the mercy of so many things.
What we need is a someone or something bigger than our problems or worries. A friend who could make it all right. Someone to turn to at any time.
Millions of people have found that God can be such a helper. It is an amazing truth that the God of the whole world should be interested in little me, but it is so. If you study the Bible (have a look at our Bible page), you will find that many times, God says, 'fear not'.
When Jesus came to live on this earth, He spoke many words of peace and comfort. What is more, He came to show a way to give us new minds, new spirits, new ways of thinking. And because He is still alive today, He promises to be a real friend and helper for us.
Why did her son tear up his birthday card?
Her fight with worry and fear.
The way forward on all these.
Samaritans and Befrienders offices around the world, offer a telephone advice service. Look in your phone book under 'Crisis'. You can also contact them by email at Samaritans.org in UK, and Befrienders in many countries around the world. They are completely confidential - they will never tell anyone else what you have shared with them They say, "Whatever you are going through, we will go through it with you."